June 16, 2008

i'm a texture person

I printed a lot today. I have to "commute" to do this. About an hour total, if you include walking from my house to the train station, taking the train, taking a subway, and a brief walk to SVA. I am so sick of trains.

I used to like taking the subway. Technically I still do. Lately, I don't know if it's because it's summer or not, but there are loads of people just being all coupley and shit on the trains. I can't take it. Express your love and affection on your own time; can't you see I'm bitter and alone?
All you people in love are being incredibly rude. Do not embrace or hold hands or kiss or gaze fondly at each other in front of me please. It upsets me on a personal level.

I walked from 21st street up to 34th, while I decided if I was going to go home or not. It made me feel lonely. I texted an ex-boyfriend. Why did I do that? It made me feel even lonelier. I didn't go home.
I think maybe I just spent way too much time by myself with headphones on, in a room with lots of paint and chemicals. It's like sensory fucktitude.

I also think this is because I spent most of last night and the train ride into the city today, learning two contrasting monologues. I read one last night and it made me really so sad that I cried. I don't think I'll do that one for my meeting on Friday. It's too dramatic I think. And it's from Our Town. That just reeks of amateurism
. And I hate anybody seeing me cry. I look really gross and inelegant. Moreso than normal people crying I think.

Also, the first job I attempted to get rejected me. This is normal I hear. Except that it's retail so that's just insulting. And now I'll never get to work someplace where I can wear booty shorts. Except for maybe Hooters but I can't rollerskate well while holding hot dishes, I wouldn't be able to stand my hair smelling like fried food all day and I don't have a rack to speak of. Out of the question. And I don't need that on my resume. And why the hell would I do that anyway. Really now.

Back to the drawing board.

SVA's printlabs are soo much nicer than Purchase. I'll say that much.

The subway platform had some cute things. They made me smile.


K-Hawk said...

I bet you could work Hooters.

Let's do it.

a(rossin) said...

I've definitely become hugely disenchanted with the subway or any kind of commute. When I was younger, I always wanted a job that I needed to commute to. Now I just want to work out of my bedroom. Or maybe down the block, somewhere. Fuck trains. Also fuck being alone; it sucks, I know.