June 11, 2008

she will do great things

On Tuesdays, I intern.
I sit in a nice little office with a chihuahua named Lucy who I don't know who she belongs to and I read emails from people who want work and respond with "Thanks for that, don't call us, we'll call you!"
Or something to that effect.

It is summer and I have graduated and I am still interning. I am now trying to help them help me. And they are cooperative! Remember that crack-of-dawn Prada commercial I booked last week? Turns out, they submitted my photo on a whim after the Prada people were not too keen on the selection they had been previously offered. They were really looking for 30 year olds. Last minute change of heart. I will admit, it is a pretty good photo. Unfortunately is it now a bit inaccurate since in that photo I am about ten pounds lighter and have better hair. I am self-conscious now.

My boss insists that I must do print work, after seeing that photo. She also insists that I try this thing where I pay to meet with industry people to give my seven minute schmooze/show-em-what-you-got spiel so as to network. This is terrifying news to me. There is nothing I hate more than schmoozing and showing people what I got.

I just read a short story by Chuck Palahniuk about this. The seven-minute thing. He says in Stranger Than Fiction that in LA, you are never more than 15ft away from a screenplay or script. People everywhere tote around manuscripts trying to sell them. I believe him. I don't know about New York. Probably a similar distance.

She's setting up a meeting with an agent for me, my boss. That's nice of her. This further adds to my uneasy degrees of anxiety and apprehension about this industry. I think of my e-pal, Amedeo, who I haven't actually spoken to in a while. He would say things like "Ohhh I don't know about this" a lot.

I don't know how I feel about this. I don't know how I feel about a lot of things.

So instead I illustrate and read fashion magazines. I am also thinking of working at American Apparel because I'm going broke and don't have health insurance and I would like to work someplace where I can have flexible hours and wear high-waisted black matte stretchy pants to work.

I am very nervous.

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