July 4, 2008

the secret of life is decisiveness

Yesterday was the first birthday I've spent in the country since I turned 19. I am 22.

July 2nd is also the birthday of Lindsay Lohan (same year) and Tao Lin. I found this out today. Subsequently I also bought 2 of his books today. Happy birthday, Tao Lin. I am boosting your sales.
I should start writing books and selling them and making money off of that. How does that even work? Oh. He went to NYU. That is probably how.

This is the view from my chest. This is what I see when I look down.

I wore the hot shorts again today. Sporting them in the daytime is no better than in the nighttime. Aside from the leery stares from unshaven men on the subway, they like to whistle or say things like "God bless America." Well now. Henry said he got a "nod of approval" from a group of men when we walked by a construction scaffolding.

My only regret in wearing these foolproof babies was sitting in a leather chair at an audition this afternoon. I sat there for maybe 10 minutes as I chatted with the director and producer of this MFA Columbia student film as we did scenes. When I got up to shake their hands and leave, the sweaty rip of my fleshy thighs from that seat made me cringe innwardly.
IT WAS DEAFENING. I was moritified. And because of this I am certain I probably did not book the gig. Also that as soon as I shut the door they probably said something snide and film-studenty about it. But Columbia grad film studenty. My thighs will be my ruin.

During my read-through I eye-flirted with the director. A lot. Why did I do that? Because the character called for it? Partially. Also partially because he was awkwardly cute and if you make people think you fancy them there is probably a 29% increased chance that they will seriously consider employing you. Probably. And damn he had some pretty eyes.

Henry and I walked around the Columbia campus, looking for the audition space, with an air of "so this is what it's like to go to an impressive school with a legit degree that will get you well-paying jobs." It was a very impressive campus. You can tell by the surplus of stone stairs, stone column, and fountains. Lots of stairs. Lots of statues. And things carved in these stones in times new roman font. Ballin.

Afterwards we went to Barnes & Noble, bought books and laid in Union Square reading our new books. I wonder if going to a scholarly school setting that afternoon somehow subliminally inspired me to get up on my leisure reading. One thing that felt amiss was how everyone on that campus was either plainly or boringly dressed. Purchase has the social aesthetic upper hand in that dept. But they probably have money. And brains. Lots of brains.

I am now reading Skinny Bitch (thanks Hawk). It is abrasive yet informative. And while I had been considering it before, it has convinced me to 86 cheese and sugar from my diet. There is a chapter on "pooping."

Oh and if you try the Borscht from Veselka, don't worry. It's supposed to be radioactive.


Tao Lin said...

i like your writing, it seems funny and professional

K-Hawk said...

Skinny Bitch is good. Now move to Green Chic, it's even better. :)