October 27, 2008

now is the hour

"Everything gets slow, and I feel the scared place inside me that I don't know is scared until it stops feeling scared, and when the scared feeling stops I get a big, full feeling in my chest, and I love God so much right then.
And now, a year later, even more, that moment is still with me, riding on my breath, in the pulse of blood, the deepened lifeline in the palm of my hand. What I have come to know as true. Moments of gesture. To know what it is to love."
[tom spanbauer]




Pretty much, every day I make decisions I don't want to make. If I don't, they make themselves. If I leave them alone. I'd rather not bother sometimes. I wish I didn't have to. I wish I knew how to make the right ones, or if not that, I wish I knew the best way to live with the bad ones.

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