April 14, 2009

they don't even put on the sirens

How is it, that when you receive good news-- the type of news that should indicate that your problems are solved for the most part-- you do not feel relieved all that much.
In fact, you are the opposite of relieved.
You are anxious and cagey and you realize that the one oddly familiar and impossibly good-looking boy who will now be your coworker you once helped buy a hoodie from your current job and then he returned it a few days later and you were probably flirting with him the entire time oh crap. Small world. Always when it isn't in your favor. Why.

After frantically scouring the net for a new job I hooked an interview in 4 days time.
I talked at some English guy for about 10 minutes and he said, if I want the job, it's mine. I suppose I am adequate at appearing attractive and capable.
Hello more money. Goodbye health insurance.
I hate interviews. Because they are always for things I don't really want but need and I feel kind of desperate and I really hope they can't tell. I must find a way to do something fulfilling/satisfying with my time and live off of it or else I will be slightly miserable always.
That is the line at the bottom.
I am pacified. Yet not for long.

And then I saw this and I think maybe this person is on to something.

Albeit this is totally in the wrong section.

This elderly Asian woman was reading a zip-up vinyl bound Korean bible on the train tonight. She was opening her her jaw really wide repeatedly and I thought it was because the train was going underwater and she was trying to make her ears pop. Except she kept doing it the entire 30 minute ride. Lion face, lemon face, lion face, lemon face.
When her mouth was wide open, her tongue would be squirming around and her teeth were crooked. After a while she kept doing it but she covered her face with her zip-up bible. I thought she might be having a stroke. From the looks of it, she looked like she wanted to stop but she couldn't. I think a lot of people who have strokes feel that way mid-stroke.
I thought to ask if she was okay but she looked embarrassed and she was reading a Korean bible so probably wouldn't have been able to understand me anyway and everyone on the subway would give me a look like, "Can't you see, she doesn't speak English, you fool?"

When the train stopped at the last stop, she got up like normal and exited the train quickly like she was late.

When I am on a train I am thinking two things:
1. Why is this person sitting/standing so close to me, I hate it.

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