May 25, 2009

i will never be your unemployed boyfriend

This is why I read the internet. Gems like this.

An army of white porcelain rabbits.

Forgive me Jeebus, I have been gluttonous.

What I came home to last night:

Consider yourself murdered, tresspassing waterbug!

After being feasted on by mosquito(s) in my own home, the internet tells me that spraying a Listerine solution around you is a surefire repellent. I bought the stuff from the bodega I live above and did not have a spray bottle so I just poured it out in a teacup and now I carry this teacup with a puddle of undiluted Listerine around the house. I have accumulated no new bites. I have also murdered the offending bloodsucker as he was zooming around the bathroom (they always hang out there. Creeps). My blood squished out when I got him.
I shouted in triumph and then shouted again in resentment after scratching the same bite again. "Asshole!"

No comments: