April 25, 2010

I've been a miner for a heart of gold

Ok. So let's say I am technically in love with you:

I like you a whole lot and I want to talk to you when I'm not talking to you and I want to see you when I don't see you and I think about your thoughts more than my own. I know the back of your hand more than the back of my hand. I want the best for you and I want to be the best for you. I'll respect your views, even though I probably won't agree with all of them. I don't understand the way you do things but I try to learn how to do it the same way. I won't mind that your hair is unkempt and too long and your facial hair should never be cropped in that manner. That your jeans don't fit quite right and what is that hat you're wearing? Never wear that hat again.

I don't care that you don't have money, as long as you have tact-- which you must at this point if you've won my heart (only brilliant tact could manage such a thing). I'll take care of you if you want and I'll leave you alone when you need to be alone, and when I come back I'll make you laugh. You make me smile in the dark. You make me feel safe even though I don't have health insurance, a steady job, and I'm not very good at things like taxes and long division. You make me feel like I'm the only one. Ever will be, ever was.

If there ever were demons lived within you, I will wait for them to show and scare them off. The only demons who weren't afraid of a woman's determined fury was probably another woman herself. I'll give you secrets weaned through red eyes and whispers like dragonfly wings, beating so fast into invisibility. Probably less than you wanted but more than you would have expected. I'll give you anything you want as long as it isn't something I don't want to give.

We may be silently afraid of each other. We may never talk about it. We might let it get between us. But we might not. Some things are more important than unspoken fear. I'll tell that to you and then you'll know. I'll tell you I love you and that'll be the end of that. Even if you don't say it back.
But say it back.

4 comments:

TRONMomma said...

I read this and was touched. This is beautiful. And so human.

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Simone said...

this was awesome. sums everything up.

DJ Berndt said...

The only demons who weren't afraid of a woman's determined fury was probably another woman herself.

Very nice.